What a Year 2011 has been…

Jan: Lost in the world of emotional attachment; loving all the weight I had lost at this point from the surgery.

Feb: Started a tug-a-war work with God, but of course He won. Joined a bible study by John Ortberg. Took Koda to see Dr. Gutmann for the first time in St. Louis @ NF Clinic. Hubby gettin better with age 🙂 Missing my mom; it was 6 years since a car wreck tragically took her life. 😦

March: Wow, made some complete decisions to Quit living the lie & searched the Truth: joined a group.     Transitioned Koda from home school to John Fiske Elementary. Time to focus on me a bit. Walking!!!

April: Learned what a boundary was & then started placing them on purpose 🙂 Healthy relationships grew! Joined a new church that feeds my soul.

May: My oldest daughter graduated, making me feel pretty dang old; and my baby boy turned 6.

June: Well I hated coming into my thirties; but now I’m starting on that journey out as I turned 38. White hairs! Do a Beth Moore Bible Study w/ CCC. Celebrated 8 years of marriage.

July: Summer is here, my youngest daughter finally gets a car; no longer taxi 😀 I start getting lazy. Became a Thirty-One Consultant…gotta love bags! Happy 82nd birthday to Grandma Lola & 60th to Uncle Basil.

August: School starts; routines begin; homework, IEP’s and a chaotic mess when it comes to meds; Focus on Koda full force now. Holly is a Senior!! Another graduation coming up. Happy 19th birthday to Halie.

September: Struggled with meds, Forget about self trying to figure out how to best help Koda. Ricky & I join a marriage group; Yay…love our group!! Happy 18th birthday to Holly.

October: Koda fails hearing/vision test at school, Koda gets glasses for astigmatism, abnormal optics send us back for MRI.

November: Koda’s plexiform neurofibroma has grown, Koda has a new brain tumor. Devastated for a moment! I have all the kids for Thanksgiving. Watch plaza lighting with kids. Missing my mother-in-law; it has been one year since she decided she wanted to go home.

December: Holly ACT scores 27 :D, ADHD meds finally get settled, 3 denials for chemo coverage; then approved on Christmas Eve. Koda starts chemo (Gleevac). Holly goes to visit her dad & family. We spent Christmas with Mrs. Hottie Patoddie (Aunt Marilyn) & Family. Halie brings Holly home & we celebrate Christmas again on New Years Eve :D.

 

A special thank you to all of you that have been personally involved in our life this year. Thank you for caring enough to step out of your own lives unselfishly to bless ours. Your outpouring of time, talent, finances, and hearts have forever impacted ours. We love you!! Because of you…

I’m simply Lola; Living Out Loud Authentically by Leaning On Lord Almighty.

The healing has begun…

Blessings & Happy New Year,

Lola Yvonne

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As the lights go out there’s still: The Evergreen…

it is a reminder of daylight savings time. Coming this weekend we will be turning our clocks back one hour (spring forward, fall back). I must say this particular event is not my favorite as it heads me into a sense of sadness. I’ve always fell prey to the darkness that seems to take over our days. It’s really a twisted argument and engagement all at the same time.

I love this season; the colors, remembrance of  gratitude or thanksgiving, the crisp air that blows the most detailed and beautiful leaves, the picture perfect photography that is birthed in this season, etc. There is football and still some NASCAR all at the same time 🙂 Yay! Then there is BUT………it means heading into winter; the time to celebrate the birth of our Lord, crystallized snowflakes, no school days, all those things at one time in my life I was okay with.I still love all those times/things…….but the darkness seems to take me to a place that I tend to lose control of how I function. I lose a sense of: passion to awake in the morning, motivation to laugh/smile for no reason at all, endurance to do my daily activities, control to crawl out of the hole I seem to have fallen in. I don’t know why this happens nor when it started really. I just know it’s almost that time………and I’m feeling the grave cold of it all.

Depression is a word many would place here……or at least seasonal. It’s a dormant time, a time maybe for growth, listening & not talking, healing…..I don’t know….I’m not sure, but I do know that I always come out eventually. Can I stop from going there this year? Will my new hope for a healthier me (due to surgery), give me all that I need to face this yearly giant that visits me? I sure pray so! It all reminds me of the tree…….the tree has been a very significant symbol throughout my life.

Spring…….the rain gives life to the new forming flowering buds in their youth. Tulips, lawnmowers, fertilizing, and a new sense of energy. The days get brighter as the sun is allowed to be in our presence more hours a day. The tree……new life of green babies exploding daily.

Summer…….the sun is warming our faces, fresh garden vegetables, family vacations, sun-made ice tea/lemonade, blooms of every color and shape surrounds us, ice-cream, baseball games, drive-in movies, romance and play dates in the park. The tree……a strong covering of shade in the heat of the day, vibrant and beautiful shades of green make the most beautiful sound as God breathes.

Autumn……the days of sunlight shorten, there is a crispness in the air, pumpkins, and goblin celebrations, candy, second quarter of school, time to think about Thanksgiving dinner, rakes, and double-check of water hoses, shut off valves, winterizing, etc. The tree…….the most mature upright mix of color (reminds me of all the human races that surround me daily) makes me get on my knees with true thanksgiving for God to allow us to just get a hint of his perfect tapestry.

Winter…….winter break, Christmas presents, sledding, parties, decorated trees, snowflakes, houses all lit up, pies, family gatherings and football games, the dropping of the New York City ball and countdown to the new year, but so many expectations and commercialized chaos. The tree…….shedding the last of the leaves to become dormant, gray, and seemingly lifeless. It is not so pretty on the outside, but I see its beauty from within as it quietly rejuvenated itself for the next season of duty.

I think I have to choose a different tree for a different season……..The Evergreen; it is beautiful with colors when strung with lights, deep green all year round, and has  protective pines that can withstand anything. They stand tall, and with wisdom their bark speaks.

The tree is my vision of how my life truly is; it has its seasons, duties, and most of all strong during the storm! 🙂

I pray much peace and happiness to the souls of my friends and family during this holiday season!

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