What a Year 2011 has been…

Jan: Lost in the world of emotional attachment; loving all the weight I had lost at this point from the surgery.

Feb: Started a tug-a-war work with God, but of course He won. Joined a bible study by John Ortberg. Took Koda to see Dr. Gutmann for the first time in St. Louis @ NF Clinic. Hubby gettin better with age 🙂 Missing my mom; it was 6 years since a car wreck tragically took her life. 😦

March: Wow, made some complete decisions to Quit living the lie & searched the Truth: joined a group.     Transitioned Koda from home school to John Fiske Elementary. Time to focus on me a bit. Walking!!!

April: Learned what a boundary was & then started placing them on purpose 🙂 Healthy relationships grew! Joined a new church that feeds my soul.

May: My oldest daughter graduated, making me feel pretty dang old; and my baby boy turned 6.

June: Well I hated coming into my thirties; but now I’m starting on that journey out as I turned 38. White hairs! Do a Beth Moore Bible Study w/ CCC. Celebrated 8 years of marriage.

July: Summer is here, my youngest daughter finally gets a car; no longer taxi 😀 I start getting lazy. Became a Thirty-One Consultant…gotta love bags! Happy 82nd birthday to Grandma Lola & 60th to Uncle Basil.

August: School starts; routines begin; homework, IEP’s and a chaotic mess when it comes to meds; Focus on Koda full force now. Holly is a Senior!! Another graduation coming up. Happy 19th birthday to Halie.

September: Struggled with meds, Forget about self trying to figure out how to best help Koda. Ricky & I join a marriage group; Yay…love our group!! Happy 18th birthday to Holly.

October: Koda fails hearing/vision test at school, Koda gets glasses for astigmatism, abnormal optics send us back for MRI.

November: Koda’s plexiform neurofibroma has grown, Koda has a new brain tumor. Devastated for a moment! I have all the kids for Thanksgiving. Watch plaza lighting with kids. Missing my mother-in-law; it has been one year since she decided she wanted to go home.

December: Holly ACT scores 27 :D, ADHD meds finally get settled, 3 denials for chemo coverage; then approved on Christmas Eve. Koda starts chemo (Gleevac). Holly goes to visit her dad & family. We spent Christmas with Mrs. Hottie Patoddie (Aunt Marilyn) & Family. Halie brings Holly home & we celebrate Christmas again on New Years Eve :D.

 

A special thank you to all of you that have been personally involved in our life this year. Thank you for caring enough to step out of your own lives unselfishly to bless ours. Your outpouring of time, talent, finances, and hearts have forever impacted ours. We love you!! Because of you…

I’m simply Lola; Living Out Loud Authentically by Leaning On Lord Almighty.

The healing has begun…

Blessings & Happy New Year,

Lola Yvonne

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A new tumor…

a brain glioma and the growth of a plexiform neurofibroma causes us to have a new journey through chemo. Koda’s status; sign his guestbook.

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Transitions can take a toll…

on a family. It seems we’re becoming the professionals of transition though. I used to say people with this much change must be asking or in need of drama. LOL! Drama, there’s none of it going on here…well, until you think about all of it at once then the anxiety attack comes. I swear I’ve never even had an anxiety attack or know what one feels like. Maybe my life has always been one so I don’t know the difference. Ohhh wait, I think it might be peri-menopause…oh no, it’s not that; too young!! ;D

Can I just say that I’m going crazy, but at the same time have a peace that I can’t understand; yep that’s the signs of INSANITY!! Confused! Ok so, within one week we have (remembering we only have one vehicle for 4 of us needing to be places) a change of work hours for the hubby, the boy is transitioning into public school two hours daily, the teenager still needs to go to work, clubs, volunteer, and then have surgery on the 9th, and finds out she’s got other medical issues that needs attention along with me.

Well me, that’s one place we won’t go because remember I’m confused and have no idea whether I’m having hot flashes or just ticked off; I’m at peace or in denial, I’m coming or going. Life is good, but transitions can take you to a side of life that challenges the mind, body, and spirit. I am alive! Pinching, to double check. Yep, it hurts!!

The biggest transition is myself really trying to get transformed to whom I was designed to be. I have been told for a long time that “hurt people always hurt people”. We all have been hurt by someone or some event in our lives and it does seem that we end up hurting the ones we love the most when we are hurting. I’ve done a lot of reading lately, and who we “are” really determines how we act “show ourselves to be” towards others.

I’m transitioning into becoming on purpose a person that no longer hurts people just because I am hurt, but to be there & do for despite the hurt. To hurt along with, beside, hold, and love the people that have hurt me, to be a friend, ear, shoulder, a place of trust when there seems like there is no one or nothing else to turn to. Transitioning me helps transition healing to others one person at a time. During this transition of myself, I am whom I am and who I was made to be but I have to tap into what that looks like and feels like, then act on it. I have to say that can make one tired…ohh but I have a remedy for that; this stuff (not telling right now) is fabulous. I can’t even take a nap because it won’t let me. 🙂

So with the transitions that I can just jot down they include: raised by grandparents and a gay parent, a father that disowned me, being sexually abused, giving birth to 3 children of which 1 is medically complex, 2 marriages, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse, mood swings of the normal woman, different jobs (searching for where I’m suppose to be), renting to owning back to renting our homes, health issues of my own, enabling/enabler, going back to school, independent /co-dependency, death of loved ones with each pregnancy, watching dementia shadow the person who knew it all…..the list goes on and on like anyone else’s life. It’s no different, I’m no different, transitions happen and they continue to happen…it can take a toll only if you let it. I choose to make it abundant, vibrant, joyful, and share it so I don’t have to keep it. Transitions are steps in life to make us stronger, wiser, and most of all to give us the experience to be the good Samaritan.

Embracing, Educating, Energizing, and Enthusiastically Encouraging for all to be alive and actively involved in others! Bring on transition…excited to see what’s next ;oP

No weapon formed against me shall prosper: Isaiah 54:17.

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