A new tumor…

a brain glioma and the growth of a plexiform neurofibroma causes us to have a new journey through chemo. Koda’s status; sign his guestbook.

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Transitions can take a toll…

on a family. It seems we’re becoming the professionals of transition though. I used to say people with this much change must be asking or in need of drama. LOL! Drama, there’s none of it going on here…well, until you think about all of it at once then the anxiety attack comes. I swear I’ve never even had an anxiety attack or know what one feels like. Maybe my life has always been one so I don’t know the difference. Ohhh wait, I think it might be peri-menopause…oh no, it’s not that; too young!! ;D

Can I just say that I’m going crazy, but at the same time have a peace that I can’t understand; yep that’s the signs of INSANITY!! Confused! Ok so, within one week we have (remembering we only have one vehicle for 4 of us needing to be places) a change of work hours for the hubby, the boy is transitioning into public school two hours daily, the teenager still needs to go to work, clubs, volunteer, and then have surgery on the 9th, and finds out she’s got other medical issues that needs attention along with me.

Well me, that’s one place we won’t go because remember I’m confused and have no idea whether I’m having hot flashes or just ticked off; I’m at peace or in denial, I’m coming or going. Life is good, but transitions can take you to a side of life that challenges the mind, body, and spirit. I am alive! Pinching, to double check. Yep, it hurts!!

The biggest transition is myself really trying to get transformed to whom I was designed to be. I have been told for a long time that “hurt people always hurt people”. We all have been hurt by someone or some event in our lives and it does seem that we end up hurting the ones we love the most when we are hurting. I’ve done a lot of reading lately, and who we “are” really determines how we act “show ourselves to be” towards others.

I’m transitioning into becoming on purpose a person that no longer hurts people just because I am hurt, but to be there & do for despite the hurt. To hurt along with, beside, hold, and love the people that have hurt me, to be a friend, ear, shoulder, a place of trust when there seems like there is no one or nothing else to turn to. Transitioning me helps transition healing to others one person at a time. During this transition of myself, I am whom I am and who I was made to be but I have to tap into what that looks like and feels like, then act on it. I have to say that can make one tired…ohh but I have a remedy for that; this stuff (not telling right now) is fabulous. I can’t even take a nap because it won’t let me. 🙂

So with the transitions that I can just jot down they include: raised by grandparents and a gay parent, a father that disowned me, being sexually abused, giving birth to 3 children of which 1 is medically complex, 2 marriages, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse, mood swings of the normal woman, different jobs (searching for where I’m suppose to be), renting to owning back to renting our homes, health issues of my own, enabling/enabler, going back to school, independent /co-dependency, death of loved ones with each pregnancy, watching dementia shadow the person who knew it all…..the list goes on and on like anyone else’s life. It’s no different, I’m no different, transitions happen and they continue to happen…it can take a toll only if you let it. I choose to make it abundant, vibrant, joyful, and share it so I don’t have to keep it. Transitions are steps in life to make us stronger, wiser, and most of all to give us the experience to be the good Samaritan.

Embracing, Educating, Energizing, and Enthusiastically Encouraging for all to be alive and actively involved in others! Bring on transition…excited to see what’s next ;oP

No weapon formed against me shall prosper: Isaiah 54:17.

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Crohn’s Disease Is Associated with Restless Legs Syndrome

Researchers investigating a link between restless legs syndrome (RLS) and Crohn’s disease (CD) uncovered results that demonstrate RLS occurs frequently in people with CD and appears to be a possible extraintestinal manifestation of CD. This research appeared in the February 2010 issue of Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

CD is an ongoing disorder that causes inflammation of the digestive tract, also referred to as the gastrointestinal (GI) tract. CD can affect any area of the GI tract, from the mouth to the anus, but it most commonly affects the lower part of the small intestine, called the ileum.

CD has a variety of possible extraintestinal manifestations: arthritis, skin problems, kidney stones, gallstones, and liver diseases. This study is the first to show central nervous system (CNS) manifestations of CD.

RLS is a condition in which a person experiences extreme leg discomfort while sitting or lying down. RLS may be primary or secondary to a number of disorders. Secondary RLS occurs in a variety of patient populations, including pregnant women and people with end-stage renal disease, iron-deficiency anemia, rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, or fibromyalgia.

Because both CD and RLS are associated with iron deficiency, GI tract inflammation, and bacterial overgrowth, researchers designed the study to investigate the potential link between these two disorders.

“Overall, RLS was found to be a common comorbid condition in patients with CD,” stated Leonard B. Weinstock, M.D., Department of Internal Medicine, Washington University School of Medicine, St. Louis, MO, and colleagues. “The incidence of RLS in patients with CD reported in this study was greater than the incidence of many of the known extraintestinal manifestations of CD.”

A total of 272 patients with CD participated in the study, and researchers found a 43 percent incidence rate and 30 percent prevalence rate of RLS in patients with CD, compared with a 9 percent prevalence rate in the control group. RLS symptoms occurred during or after the onset of CD symptoms in the majority of patients, suggesting a link between CD and RLS.

Systemic disease symptoms of CD include malnutrition and anemia. Iron deficiency is the main cause of anemia in CD as a consequence of dietary restrictions, malabsorption, and intestinal bleeding. People at risk for iron deficiency are also at risk for RLS. The study showed that current systemic iron deficiency was not associated with RLS in patients with CD, but significantly more patients with CD and RLS reported a history of iron deficiency than those without RLS symptoms.

Previous studies have demonstrated an association of small intestinal bacterial overgrowth with CD in the ileum. The results of this study suggest ileum involvement in patients with CD may be a risk factor for RLS. The researchers hypothesized that inflammation attributable to other systemic and GI-related disorders, such as CD, results in an iron deficiency in the CNS, causing RLS.

Researchers hope the association of RLS with CD may lead to an understanding of fatigue and sleep disturbances associated with CD. Further studies are warranted to evaluate the potential impact that RLS has on the quality of life in patients with CD using the international RLS rating scale.

The National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse, an information dissemination service of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, has fact sheets and easy-to-read booklets about digestive disorders, including CD. For more information and to obtain copies, visit www.digestive.niddk.nih.gov.

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The journal

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As I wrote in my journal today; I asked why? Why do I journal? My journal is everything to me, it’s my life on paper; my every thought, desire, light bulb moments, goals,…………  I’m in too deep……but I keep going back for more; save me!  I really think that I am being truthful when I say I am emotionally devoted to getting my story out to the world that deeply hides the very same secrets, desires, and experiences in life. I have always known I was supposed to write a book; what type of book…….never really knew.  It’s becoming very clear to me today that I have been led down a path of deliverance that has brought healing through such writing. I may not even have a thought when I start, but I start even if it’s with what I had for breakfast; then it just rolls off the fingers.

I don’t know even where to start on getting a book published, so that’s one of the excuses of why I never did it. I have found so much happiness in life and who I am through these writings; who knows, maybe this is really my “purpose” in this world. I’ll never know if I don’t try, right? I always thought it was to interpret for my deaf mother, or help my grandma think through things and be the only one who seemed to care about her, to be at the beck and call of some man, to mother my three children…………….Wait, what about me?

Ohhh that sounded selfish! I can’t do that, it’s not right to think about me when I still have so much to do for everyone else. I can no longer interpret for my mother, she’s no longer with me; but hearing all the beautiful sounds of heaven. I am no longer “needed” to take care of granny because she now lives with my uncle, and she has “forgotten” so much that there are days that no one else exists in her life but him. I am no longer being at some man’s beck and call because I’m not with a person that requires that of me any longer. I will always be a mother, and that job really never ends just the job duties as they age.

All the stuff I have to do: really is only Motherhood, and it doesn’t require my every moment; though it sometimes feels like it. How I can be the best for everyone else if I can’t be the best me. I can’t be the best me if I’m depressed, fatigued, and so busy doing ……..and if I’m not the best me how can I be the best at what I do. I do desire being the best in every area of my life. No I’m not a perfectionist, and I realize that I cannot be the best at everything. I have desires that I want to fulfill.  Why shouldn’t I be able to do it; it is my life, isn’t it? Why have I been brought up in this world to think that living by giving to everyone and not taking myself into consideration is the way to “leave my legacy”? Who taught me that? Was such teaching by example; now that I write it down……….it was. The very people who taught me that are/were unhappy, alone, no one comes to see them, gave everything and have nothing, lost a sense of reality…….why would I want to end up that way.

Why? No! I refuse to end up that way………life is too short! I have some more changes to make……..it seems to never stop. It’s autumn now……….another season in my life; I really like it today because its full of vibrant rich colors! I am happy! Without my journal I don’t think I would ever figure a lot of my life out the way that I have. I have found freedom in my writing even though no one may read it, but they do read it. I have got many emails from people stating they feel the very same way, and I have been thanked for showing such subjects in another light. There is a reason for it all…………and I am full of emotions right now about the exciting new seasons coming my way.

Can’t wait to share it with you! I’ve always wondered why I would lay awake at night running so many thoughts through my head; it was “time to journal”. There is a time for many things in life; cry, laugh, dance, ……..it’s best said: Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

2A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

………………..and now my journal has helped me realize there is a “time for me”! Enjoy Life!

 

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